On Neurotic Rambling...

So, I'm sitting here at the coffeeshop. I'm tired, I'm happy, I'm a bit high on caffeine, and I'm totally motivated...to do...something. I have days like this more and more. I drag myself out of bed in the morning, live my day with no unusual events, then I'm hit with a train of energy at the end of the day. I mean, I would run around the parking lot right now if I could. Unfortunately, I'm wearing flip flops.

I watched this live dubstep song online the other day and have been held captivated by the bass player/the bass. First, he uses a Hot Hand Wah which gives infinitely variable wobble, and he's wearing some sort of glove. I'm guessing the glove is part of the HHW, but it gave me the idea to wear a glove. I'll try that next time I play on Sunday, I think.

He's got the coolest paintjob too. Its pitch black unless you look at it head on, in which case it becomes a fish-scale blue and green. I can't find it anywhere online, though. I'm refinishing my junk guitar, so I'm looking for some sort of unique paint to use. I might just go with a solid silver, depending. I was planning on doing it tonight, but it looks like I might need to do it on Saturday. Or...nevermind, I'm going to paint it flat grey. That way I can feel symbolic. *grins*

BOOM! TIME MACHINE!

Its Saturday now. It was Friday when I wrote that. *points up*

I'm at the coffeeshop again! Surprise surprise. I'm also awesome, but that's nothing new. I had something really amazing to say earlier, but I forgot it. *sigh* Oh well. Here's something new!


Diary of an Alpaca

Mmmmmm. Nnnmmm....mmnnmm. *munch munch munch* Mmmm. MMMmm. nmmmnnmmm. Mm. *spit spit* MmmMMmm. Mrrmmm. Fffffmmmm. Mmmm. Nnnnnmmmm. Nnnnnn. Nn! NNNN!!! Mmmmm-mm-nn. Mmm? Mrrnnrnmmff. Nrrmmmnn? Mrrnrnnn. Nh.


Its impossible to have a thoughtful self-dialogue when Numa Numa is blasting in your ears.

Also, John dancing.


Pahahaha.

I think I'll go home now.

On Fornication...

Marilyn Monroe once said, "A sex symbol becomes a thing. I just hate to be a thing"


When girls become a "sex symbol" in a guy's mind, they become things. A man will do anything to a "thing" and justify it because it is a "thing" and not a human, or a woman. People view themselves as "things" too, which removes responsibility from themselves. Porn is a prime example of dehumanization, plus it is addictive. I'm no scientist, but I see it as similar to smoking a cigarette. First, it calms the person down, then it grows on them and they just have to have that thing there to hold and stick in their mouth. Porn doesn't calm so much as excite, and after a while, you have to look farther and farther to find new things for your mind to grab on to. It becomes a never-ending quest for more and worse.

Is there a cure? Some say yes, I say no. It will always stick with you. You can hide it behind walls or you can be honest about it, but what you have seen and done will forever stick with you.

This world needs a metric freak-ton of God right about now. *sigh*

J~S

On Writing...

So I'm here at 1:00 in the morning, finishing my writing homework. Yes, yes, I'm up rather late, and I should have done it yesterday. So? I didn't. Anyways!

I was reading in The Little, Brown Writing handbook (which, ironically, is blue) and I saw something about freewriting. You spend like 10 minutes just pouring whatever comes to mind out onto the paper, and I'm like "Woo!"

What *is* on my mind? Gee, I sound like facebook. My mind is seemingly chock full of everything. I think about college, music, friends, church, life, etc. I don't just think sparingly, either. My current work schedule has me working Tuesday, Thursday and Friday for three hours in the evenings. That's three hours where I can just mindlessly do my job and think.

College? I think about how I fit in. Virginia Western isn't a huge college, but it sure is full of weird people. I suppose "weird people" doesn't fit it. VaWest is a community college, known for its dual-enrollment classes. There are a lot of younger teens, and older teens that aren't quite college-age. They're still on the bug of "be your own person" and honestly, its sickening. They dress up and do their hair like this or that, and hang with their little groups, but they aren't *living!*

I don't know quite what I'm trying to say here. I suppose I'm frustrated because I have learned to be content (usually, at least) and I see other people complaining constantly about little stupid worthless things that bug them. My sister and her husband were both without jobs for three months and were living on a dwindling savings account. The college student who is throwing a fit because her cappuccino didn't have enough cream does not have reason to complain. The worst part is how much I see dissatisfaction. On any given day on facebook, there can be twenty, maybe thirty statii about little insignificant things that have "ruined my day" or somesuch.

Now, I'm no god. I have my troubles, and I get frustrated. Still, when God blesses me, I see no reason to complain about it. Everything happens for a reason, so there's no point in fighting it. If I buy a dozen donuts and one of them is smashed or missing, too bad! I can live without it, and I don't see any worth in going back and causing everyone more trouble than its worth.

Oh man, I think about life, and that's just scary. Its sad, really, because I have nobody I can confide in. Yes, there is God. He is enough, but my sinful mind and body can't seem to get that. I want to talk to a human! Who? Why? I don't know, and nobody fits my needs. I want someone distant, but someone who I trust implicitly and who will tell me exactly what they think with no cushion. Now, God does this, but as I said, my stupid mind can't grasp it. Why? I wish I knew this, too. I guess I feel almost ashamed when I talk to God. When I'm having low points, I find it easy to start snapping at things and...my mind just hit a brick wall.

I'm starting to hallucinate, so I'm gonna go to bed. Maybe they aren't hallucinations, but I'm definitely seeing something. I have to get up tomorrow, too, so that's nice. Goodnight everyone.

J~S

On Love...

A couple in my church is going through some serious marital problems, and the wife posted this quote:

"The promise, made when I am in love and because I am in love, to be true to the beloved as long as I live, commits me to being true even if I cease to be in love. A promise must be about things that I can do, about actions: no one can promise to go on feeling in a certain way. He might as well promise to never have a headache or always to feel hungry."
— C.S. Lewis

I saw that and was like, "Woah. That is the way to model your life." Even when you cease being in love...you gave your word, and you need to keep it.

On a side note, I think that phrases such as "giving your word" and such have been totally devalued in today's society. If someone gives you his word that he'll meet you somewhere, he doesn't have to show up. Its pathetic.

J~S

On What Makes Me Laugh...

D - You just have to figure out what you want from life, and then go for it.

M- *blank stare, then sudden inspiration* I want a cheeseburger. And a haircut. Wait, no. Haircut then cheeseburger. Don't wanna have meat-burps in the barber's face.

D - ...a truly earthshaking personal epiphany...

On Hate...

I'm a chill guy. I don't hate very many things. You know what I do hate, though? Pessimists, selfists, and fakers.

Ok, so there's all these clever anecdotes about how it'll turn out better than the pessimist thought it would...all that junk. First off, that's illogical. A true pessimist will hate it even more than when he started. That's the nature of the beast, and you can't hide it.

There are also those people who just spread their pessimism like...regurgitated peanut butter on someone else's toast. Yeah, that's how I view it. I'm looking at the peeps who text constantly about how everything sucks, and post statuses about everything bad that happens...they ignore the good in life!

Now, if you look at websites, and probably if you ask pastors, they'll say that there is a time and place for pessimism. Really? Look at the definition of pessimism. "The tendency to see, anticipate, or emphasize only bad or undesirable outcomes, results, conditions, problems, etc." Come on now, that goes against the enormous hope that we have in Christ! Doesn't it say that in everything, we should give thanks to Christ Jesus? How can one give thanks if at the same time they're just waiting for the bad to happen? Am I right? Am I wrong?


Selfists? Well, they seem to get along well with pessimists. Personally, I've seen a lot of these on facebook...for example, "____ didn't get to ___ because of ___. This sucks!" Really now. Learn to be content, miss/mister! I'm not an incredible example...especially when someone else gets to do something that I didn't get to do? I may not vocalize it, but it irks me. Heck, I'm still simmering about things that happened two years ago...even things that happened six or seven years ago. I say again, I'm not a good example. I will say, though, that I try to keep it to myself. Why should I burden other people with all the junk that happens to me? Remember that all things work together for the good of Him who sent you, so if something happens...it was supposed to happen.

Anytime someone uses themselves as a good example, it comes across as self serving, but I'm going to try and do this with some grace. I was in a moped wreck a couple months ago, had to go to the ER, pay a buncha bills, and go to a driver improvement class for no good reason. (No good reason? Whoops, did I just fall into my own trap? xD) I got on facebook in the ER and posted a status saying that I was in the ER and that I was doing fine. Now, I wasn't really doing quite fine, but I wasn't dead/dying, so there was no need to make it seem worse than it was.

Now I move to an acquaintance of mine. He gets on facebook a little bit after a wreck of his own....and makes this looong status about all the things he won't be able to do and how messed up it is. He wasn't that beat up, and he got out of the ER later that day. I thought to myself...you're not mortally wounded. You'll be out of commission for a month or so. Big deal? Can't you thank God for not breaking your neck?

Like I said, I'm not perfect. I've posted depressing stuff before. I guess...part of what upsets me is that I thought the people that posted these things were good role models, but then I find out that I'm more mature than them, and that's just not right...

Fakers. I hardly have any energy left to attack these guys. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. This is like...shooting fish in a barrel with Big Bertha, and yes, that includes me. I look at myself and what I do, and I find myself repulsive...I try and get better! Oooh man, I try...but that's the problem, its me trying. I can't trust God enough to believe that he'll change me. I come before temptation...and fall. And fall. And fall. And fall. I converse with myself as I fall..."You know you shouldn't be doing this. This is ungodly, this wrong, don't do it...don't...no...please no..........you did it..." How am I supposed to be "real" when the "real" me is a saved failure...ergh, I guess that's supposed to be how it is. I have to show my true self, and God uses that to show others how he's changed me. I just can't give myself to him. Why!?

I am saved...I know this without a doubt. I know God is shaping my life in incredible ways, and he's not afraid to make me uncomfortable to do it. If it were my choice, I would not have chosen for my dad to have an affair, go clinically insane, and attempt suicide, thus restarting my whole life. Looking back, though? He moved me into an incredible church that teaches me, it moved me into a group of peers that I can trust and build close friendships with, it gave me an opportunity to see my spiritual gifts! Its allowed me to see others' relationships, others' affairs, and grow in Christ to an incredible degree.

Really, this post isn't for you guys...its for me. I don't have any facets...I can't write songs, poetry, books, or anything of the sort. I can pray, though, and I can blog. Does God read my blog? *chuckles* Oh yes he does. He knows it even before I write it. Thank you, God. :-)

Thank you for reading this poorly organized and poorly written post...I hope I've been able to present myself as humble as I desire to be, although I'm afraid I may have failed. I'm a sinner, redeemed by grace, but still making mistakes every step of the way.



I've been fascinated with this song for a several months now. My friends don't find it that amazing, but the lyrics are simple enough that I can understand them, and sung/talked with such emotion...

We’re all born to broken people on their most honest day of living, and since that first breath, we’ll need grace that we’ve never given...

...everything falls apart at the exact same time that it all comes together perfectly for the next step, but my fear is this prison that I keep locked below the main deck. I keep a key under my pillow, it’s quiet and it’s hidden...

...because our church is made out of shipwrecks; from every hull these rocks have claimed, but we pick ourselves up, and try and grow better through the change. So come on y'all and let’s wash each other with tears of joy and tears of grief, and fold our lives like crashing waves and run up on this beach. Come on and sew us together, we're just tattered rags stained forever...

Listener - Wooden Heart

On...something...

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living, and since that first breath... we'll need grace that we've never given..."

Loathing in self-doubt, toiling and trying! What is it all for, and who do we fool? We think we can do it all and when we can't, we keep trying? A model of evolution? Man's resilience? Bah! Sure, we bounce back from some physical problems. They're the only kind problems we can. Spiritual problems? Man knows as much about spiritual matters as a kindergartener knows about metaphysics! Say a man falls to temptation. What does he do? He gets up and goes, "I must fight harder! I can't let it do this to me!" or maybe he even says "God, help me get over this!" and then proceeds to try and do it himself. We don't submit to God because we don't trust him. Its like doing a trust fall, blindfolded, into the arms of someone you've never met or physically seen. We barely trust people we know, much less people who's existence is disputed daily.

"Open wide my door, my door, my Lord (open wide my door) to whatever makes me love You more (open wide my door) while there's still light to run toward..."

Still, we keep on trying. Is this persistence again? Are we trying to prove to ourselves, to Him, or to others? Are our priorities where they should be? No! We're fallen, and we sin, sin, and sin without pause. We try and do better, but wait, that's the problem. We try! I'm not saying I'm innocent, I'm saying I'm guilty. I've been dragged through the dirt by my own self-indulgence, trying to get what I want, no matter how sickeningly human it is! Man cannot fight sin! We're like a twig in the waves in a vast, vast ocean; tossed to and fro with no control over our direction, slowly rotting away till we've totally melded into the sea.

"Ya sabur, subhannallahi, a-uduhu billah minash-shaitnair-rajim, al-hamdu lillah, bismillahir rahmanir rahim."

So what's the point in trying if there's no point in trying? Do we continue our idyllic lives, pretending that its all good, that its all fine? This crime, this lie, it can't fulfill. The one thing that can fill, we are refuse to attain! No, not by the requirements or by the ease of receiving, but by our own foolishness! Do we not one day fill our heart, and the next day try to rationalize our own longings? Are we unable to truly follow His will? Yes, or no! Do we, by our sins, fulfill his plan? Yes! Are our sins still vile and punishable by death? Yes! He's given us a conundrum, one way to be saved, one way to sin, and both are the same. Moving from spiritual matters to conundrums, from one incomprehensible thing to another! Why does man try?

Kul-anaya fikr minh ka (every thought is a thought of You)
Abadan ahatmam enna ajab (never concerned about what we should be)
Hayya'alal falal qad qamadis alah (let's resolve to live in the manner God planned)
Haqq: la illaha il Allah (there is no God but God)

We have hope. Why do we have hope? We are wretched creatures, accepting the interminable grace one day and fulfilling our gluttonous desires the next. We base our society, our lives upon it! To be like Thoreau, no, no, still unable to grasp what is in our reach. Still shoving away, still shying like a child from the dark. Trusting our faith as far as we can throw it, we realize we have no faith. Are we unable to? Can this fallen heart comprehend? We have tired of trying and to our senses dying, we lose sight of that imprinted on every being, every bush.

"Because our church is made out of shipwrecks, from every hull these rocks have claimed"
Fold our lives like crashing waves and run up on this beach. Come on and sew us together, we're just tattered rags stained forever, we only have what we remember...

I know he can save me, I know he waits. I yet haven't put my hands upon the horns of that altar for the lost. Failure! Despair! Is that all that waits for me? Oh, I will live forever on the golden bricks and streets. I gave myself to Him, but have not relinquished control. When will I give in? When will I know that I can't do it? Will I give my life to a weary traveler, yet limitless Lord? Trust, give, and submit! Why does the battle rage on and on, back and forth, sawing through the tree of my hope and security?

"I am the barely living son of a woman and man who barely made it, but we're making it taped together on borrowed crutches and new starts. We all have the same holes in our hearts; everything falls apart at the exact same time, then comes together perfectly for our next step..."

As long as I am in control, I will suffer, but not for God. As long as I am in control, I will fight to remain in control. As long as I am in control, I will work hard, I will act right, I will throw myself out for the stranger on the trail. I can forgive, apologize, sin, cause hardship, cause joy, cause sadness and hope. As long as I am in control, I move my life at my own pace, working on what I desire to work, preparing my life as I desire to.

As long as I am in control, I cannot truly succeed.

When He is in control, my life will truly be complete.

Will I give up my fight? Will I accept the grace given me that I have subverted and compartmentalized? Will I?

...I think very strongly when I'm high on caffiene.

On Compassion...

Ok, I swear God's been trying to get me to be more compassionate...I've got two examples just from today. Sure, they seem like little incidents, but there was just something that I felt that I knew wasn't normal. Like...a literal weight on my heart. Call it odd, but its what I felt.

First! I ran to Lowes to get some Fix-a-Flat (amazing stuff. I'd advise keeping two cans in your car at allll times) there's a stoplight to get onto the main road, then there's a stoplight for another road. I'm sitting there at the second light, the light turns green, the lane next to me starts moving. I'm sitting there. The car in front of me is sitting there. I'm like, "Uuuhh..." and eventually (after like a minute, at least....its a long light) pull out into the other lane, throw it into first, and blast through the intersection under a yellow arrow. I see this guy in the other lane, sitting in this little white car with his blinkers on, obviously unable to move. I imagine its his engine, because tires don't usually give out when you're sitting still. This is when I started thinking...I could have run up and helped push the car...I'm probably stronger than anyone else in the lane at the time, and I've got absolutely nothing to do today, so I don't need to be anywhere. Instead, I sped by...

So I'm driving down the road with that on my mind when I see the remains of a tire in the middle of the road. I'm like, "Oh, I bet some trucker lost that...I bet he didn't even know. Pah. Stupid truckers..." and at that very moment, I look over and see a middle aged woman getting out of a medium sized pickup with a kid in the passenger seat. I'm like, "Geez...I'm such a jerk..." and as I drive down the road, I'm literally weaving across the road, trying to decide whether or not to go back. My mom had a blowout a couple months back, and I know how stressful it was for her...and I know she was lucky to have me at home to come pick her up and change the tire. Mom didn't know how to change the tire...that's just something dad or I did. What about this lady? Did she have someone at home? Surely I could have gone back and seen if she needed any help...I could have put the spare on...inflated it if need be...given her a ride home...but I didn't. It's bugged me all day.

Sure, there are people with car problems all over the place, but do they have people to help them? Are we cowards enough to leave the mom and kid stranded on the highway when we've got the time and ability to help them? That's the part that gets me. I had no reason not to stop. My evening was such that I could have driven to NC and back if I needed to. I had no requirements...I had the equipment in my car to fix a flat tire, to change a tire, and to jack a car up. I had a toolkit, I had a box with misc car parts...heck, I had work gloves if I seriously didn't want to get dirty! I had over 100$ in my wallet that I could have given her to get a towtruck if she had to...but...why didn't I!? I gave up both a ministry opportunity and a service opportunity because...because...WHY!?

Maybe I'll stop next time...maybe you'll stop next time...

Why am I writing this at 1:30 at night? Yes, I can't sleep...I can't get it off my mind.

J~S

On Pain...

So yeah, I'm in pain. :-) Still, it gave me some stuff to think about.

First, I thought about how hard it is to type without my index finger and part of my thumb.

Second, I thought about how my guitar playing was going to be...difficult.

Third, I thought of alll the little things that made that happen. The person I slowed down for...the extra time it took to start the moped...the unusual route I decided to take to leave the church, which took me around it several times...this day was supposed to happen.

Also! I just found out today...on my way home from the ER, actually, that my request for a free computer has been approved. Funny thing is, the email they sent was actually supposed to go out like...last month. It came (after some math on my part) exactly the same time I had my wreck. Go figure...or should I say God figures. ;-)

I'm gonna keep watching for what He's teaching me, and thank you all for your prayers!

J~S

On Current Feelings...

*burp*

On Towel Day...

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels.
A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value — you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble‐sanded beaches of Santraginus Ⅴ, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand‐to‐hand‐combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindbogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you — daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in It's a nice day, or You're very tall, or Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you alright? At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour. If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. After a while he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical.

On Temptation...

Say you have something wrong with your life. For the sake of this blog, let's say lust. You know its wrong, you want to stop, but you just can't seem to be able to. You're also doing your best to grow closer to Christ, but this is a major stumbling block. How do you approach it?

Well, I'd say there are two ways to approach it. The typical human way, and the spiritual way. Mankind likes to be in control. We want to do the big jobs, to be the explorers, to be perfect. We feel like we have to do something to make this happen, though. Er, do something as in physical action. With lust, man thinks, "I have to fight this horrid thing!" (Ok, we think that whenever we aren't thinking lustfully...but hey.) Sure, we pray and ask for help. We go to seminars. We get accountability pardners. But what's up with this? We're trying to be the ones causing growth. That's the problem. We think that if we can get rid of this trait, then we'll be closer to God.

I take a different view. Its nothing revolutionary, but it almost seems too simple and easy to be true. The bible says to be transformed by the renewing of our hearts. It says that if we confess our sins, then we can depend on him to wash us clean. It says we should be God's "tools", and that we should give all of ourselves to him, not just part. It says to trust in the Lord, for he will always be our strength. It says if we put God first, he will bless our path! This would be (back to the lust again) like saying, "Ok God, I'ma do my absolute best to get closer to you." Devote yourself! Ask yourself if you believe or if you're just there for the looks and benefits.

I'm guessing its obvious now which one I think. I realized that I've been trying to fix a problem of my own, but I was looking at it from the first angle. I wanted to fix my problem, and if I was able to do that, I would be closer to God! Yay! Only I can't fix it without God. That's sorta the problem here. You have to apply yourself and constantly ask God's will. Read the scriptures! God will take care of your problems if you're focused on him. Its how he rolls, and I gotta say that he rolls pretty awesomeley.

J~S

On Temptation...

When you overcome temptation, it doesn't necessarily start a new chapter in your life, but it does start a new page.

I haven't blogged in a while, so I figured I might as well keep my blog alive and post something. What's going on? Well, I spent the afternoon and evening hanging out with a ton of friends and Lydia, who is moving. Aww, much sadness. :-/

Beards are nature's bibs.

I'm helping sis and her fiancee with wedding invitations. Woot!

Ok, my work here is done. Jason has left the building.

J~S

On Priorities...

What are my priorities?

Ok, so it seems to me that the more money you make, the more expensive the things you want get. You want an example? Ok. Back several years when I was somewhere near the age of 10, I wanted a squirt gun. It was a rather nice squirt gun, and it cost 20 dollars. I did this and that and saved up and whaddya know, I bought the gun. I enjoyed it for quite a long time! Now I'm looking at the possibility of making near 100 a week. Awesome, right? Yeah. Sure. I'm also paying off a car, so that digs. I have a long list of things that I want to buy, but I don't have anywhere near the money for. That's where the priorities come in.

Now let me say here that I'm only talking about priorities in things I wish to buy. That's just what's on my mind a lot. You can prioritize time, people, etc, too.

Like four/five months ago or something, I lost my itouch. Boo! Much sadness was had by all and so forth. I want a new one. Its really quite simple. I'll try and rationalize it by saying that I liked having a bible on hand at all times, and honestly that isn't a total rationalization. It was a very useful item and I'd like another. How much? 300 bucks, give or take. *gasp*

I have been trying to upgrade my car's sound system since I first got it. Actually I've been trying to modify more than the sound system, but we'll start here. Currently, to revitalize my whole system, I could use one new aftermarket stereo assembly and four speakers. Oh, and an amp. Stereo? 100ish bucks. Speakers? I could probably get all four for like 150 bucks. The amp? An extra 100 bucks. If I want to get a pair of worthwhile subs? Ha! Ha ha! Want to add up to 300 more dollars? Bah.

I'm not an incredibly musical person, but I like the bit I can do and I'm always trying to pick up new things. I had a friend offer to sell me his bass for 75 dollars, and probably an amp for that too. Eh, it'll end up being 100 bucks altogether.

My car? Wimpy little car, but I love it. I try and do this and that in it, and it usually turns out well. I colored the interior lights red and blue, I have fuzzy dice, I put chrome stripes on the back. I'd like to get a spoiler for it (200$) and driving lights (20$) as well as a couple interior black lights and a new dash. (up to 80ish$?)

I film for my skater neighbor. A couple of our cameras don't work, and one of them is in the wrong format to get to my lappy, plus its not very high quality. I can get a nice new camera (that I like and is a brand I approve) for 200 dollars. Oh yay.

Once I get the camera, I won't be able to do anything with the film unless I get a new laptop. 300 dollars, anyone?

My problem is knowing where to start. Do I get the little things I can afford? Do I save up for the biggest, but most useful ones? *sigh* So much trouble. Currently I'm looking closest at buying the bass. After the bass, perhaps the itouch? Or the camera and the computer. *sighs again* I'm willing to wait on the stuff in the car. I can fiddle around with the stuff I have and be satisfied. Well, I might get the driving lights someday if I have any extra money. *grins* I guess I wrote this because I wanted to get these prioritized so I could move on to the larger things; people and time.

Perhaps I'll just procrastinate on those some more. It seems to be rather common. Actually I've made a few things top priority, but figuring out where things go below that is causing trouble. More trouble for another day though. My day is done. Over and out.

J~S