Field of Life

I am so selfish. Aren't we all? We let all the things we do be influenced by a hidden motive for ourselves. We say we care for someone, then turn and talk behind the person's back. We cry for sympathy, while quietly stealing all that the sympathetic holds dear, leaving them dashed on the ground, wondering what happened. It is a vicious cycle. Through every person and country, we travel through self-loathing, falling, picking ourselves up, then throwing ourselves at the ground even harder, grasping for things we can't have. We run through the field of life, not noticing all the lives we crush with each step. Take care. Beneath the seeming single sea of grass are tiny individual flowers of people's lives, affected by your every whim. As the flowmetal-faced Erasmus would doubtless have said, "Humans. How stupid."

Why?

I hide so much. Nobody knows what goes on in my mind, because of my perfected mask. Its a layer of silence, with a continual reinforcement of being able to ignore anything. I let few people past my mask, but if those few turn and hurt me, I have no protection. I don't want to let down my facade, but I try to build myself up to the image I have set up for others. I am indifferently compassionate.
None know my true self.
I don't know my true self.
Only God knows my true self, and that's the only thing in this crazy life I can rely on.

Daaschwoop!

So I have sorta failed at coming up with stuff to blog about. Whenever I sit down, all my intellect dissapears. This is apparently a common theme, which sorta stinks. So I decided to blog about blogging, and be truly stereotypical ironic, but I couldn't figure out what to say about that, either. Oh well, too bad. There is this really weird girl next to me who was talking into a blackberry. Do you have any clue how small those things have got?! I'm not easily impressed by technology, but sheesh...its like having a quarter in your ear! Either that or a penny that got run over by a train. I'd say this is that exact size, but who knows. I wasn't gonna go pull it out of her ear or anything.
I drove the Z here! Gosh, that car is fun. I keep on trying to figure out exactly what it's doing, and buckle in tight, and it feels like I am part of the car. =:-D
I'm also trying to figure out how all these college kids can get such nice cars. There are Mustangs galore, which isn't really that surprising. There are vans that have been ripped up, and lopped down. Wahaha. I was looking for wheels for the Z, and there's nothing good. Maybe I'll set up a video shoot for it sometime. Eh.

Well, my intent was to waste time while I waited for CAP, and I did...if only like 20 minutes. I wasn't only blogging, I was doing other stuff too. I type faster than that! Sheesh, you egotist. *chuckles* Ooh, I enjoy my life.

J~S